Some late night thoughts on life, fear and adventure
There’s a reason I haven’t changed the title of my blog since I made it. I was reflecting on this today when I found myself once again in a random situation wondering “how did I end up here?” (In a good way … more on that later).
For the past few years, when an opportunity comes up, instead of saying “why would I do that?” I ask myself “well, why not?”
If I don’t have a good answer, I go for it.
"I’m scared," "It might be awkward" or "I just don’t feel like it" are not good reasons. I’m not sure when I came to realize that fear and apathy were robbing me of many potentially wonderful experiences. I think the realization came gradually, along with more and more decisions to push myself out of my comfort zone in situations where I feared rejection or failure or that I might make a fool of myself.
Coming to really understand the gospel (which is also a gradual and ever ongoing process), also made this possible. It might sound cliche, but I don’t have to fear rejection because God already loves me like crazy even though I’m an absolute mess. I don’t have to fear failure because my definition of success doesn’t look the same as the way the world characterizes it.
It’s still a work in progress. I still find myself making up excuses, hiding behind my fear and allowing myself to be bored. But I think I’ve come a long way even since I first really adopted this attitude around two years ago (about the time I started this blog, actually).
The “why not?” attitude has led me on many random nights and adventures this year. Traveling to Ghana was the biggest, but I had several smaller adventures in 2012, planned and unplanned. My goal is to have even more next year.
With graduation approaching in spring, I’m feeling somewhat intimidated by the decisions I will soon face. I’m praying that I won’t let myself settle for what’s easiest or most comfortable just because I fear the future. After all, life’s about the little moments, the stories you will still be laughing about when you’re old, the bonds and friendships you form. It’s not about having everyone like you or having financial security or a nice, comfortable house. None of those things last too long, anyways.